So…. here I am… still not cleared to drive and Christmas break is winding down. Every year Christmas break is a HUGE turning point for wrestlers, with class over all of your focus can be on training. I can say that this is the first Christmas break that I have ever had just stay home. Concussions are a weird injury and the road to recovery is a patient one. I have to go to therapy to get my eyes fixed for whatever reason they don’t work together properly leaving me dizzy at times. On a good note Rehab is helping that. Not using this time for training is making me miserable. I feel like I have been sitting in a bubble for a month now. My car has a flat tire and my parents took my keys to make sure I don’t drive. It’s not some injury you can walk off….It’s your brain. While sitting around the house I thought about how I made a Facebook post about wanting to somehow document a season, and then I was contacted to do this Blog! I expected to be able to talk about a dominant year! However, this year has left me with setbacks. That makes it awkward to talk about and for people to reads my thoughts. I started this dang it and I want to finish it.
So all I want to do right now is go! I want to wrestle! I want to compete! I want to make this work. I’ve got to go back to my book of rocky quotes to get me thinking positively again. I go back to my memory banks and I look at how I’ve handled adversity in the past, My senior year when my parents moved us to broken arrow I slept with my head by the washer and dryer because that was all we could afford to rent when we moved. Now we could have been a lot better financially if we stayed in Sapulpa, but my family made a sacrifice for me because according to ossaa’s rules even though I was 18 I couldn’t move out by myself. Then halfway through the season I blew out my ankle. That was an emotional year too. I think back at how I handled it, I sucked it up wrapped it up did all my training on the exercise bike and hobbled out to the mat and fought. Though I wasn’t my best I still managed to make it to the state semi finals. I was the defending champion and I wanted to make it to the state finals for the third year in a row! Then in the opening seconds of my semi finals match, I was adrenaline pumped and ready to fly. I got disqualified for an accidental illegal slam. There was a lot of controversy involved in it and I’ve never seen a situation like it and there I was in it. I didn’t throw a fit on the mat. I had a calmness and it surprised me. I walked away with my head up. I’ve learned many lessons in wrestling and I continue to learn them. This sport will rip your heart out but it’s how you handle these situations that give you character. You are going to win and you are going to lose this we all know. When you shake hands with the other guy on the mat you are agreeing that one of you will walk away with your hand raised. Whether you are injured, sick , or exhausted from a bad weight cut, there is going to be a winner and you have to accept that and own up to it if its now you. This year there will be a juco national champion crowned with or without me so I have only one option left. Get better, and fight with all that I have to try to better my wrestling career. When I step back onto the mat I am going to be thankful that I still can do that. This road is rough and I feel like I’m in the movie 300 sometimes, marching into battle fighting all the way to my death. I don’t like emotions, but I’m filled with them right now. I feel a calmness coming into me as I write this. I’m taking the pressure off of myself and I will soon return to battle to I fight with all that I have.
I do believe Everything happens for a reason. The Lord works in mysterious ways and while I don’t claim to understand him I understand that in the end all of this wrestling doesn’t matter. It has just been a tool given to me to let me know how the world works. It has show me how hard work pays off and at the same it doesn’t always go my way.
Johny Hendricks told me when I was young that “sometimes that the best guy doesn’t win.” It was not long after his loss to Mark Perry in the NCAA finals. I had had my first heartbreak in wrestling that year. When he told me that I remembered and I snapped out of it. It’s the way things go…. We can’t always get what we want even when we pour our hearts into it. I am sure Johny Hendricks doesn’t remember who I am and I have only crossed paths a few times with him but that day I will remember the most. Well that day and a funny story about a fart I let go before he showed moves on me at a camp. I will take that and run with it. I am ready to wrestle again. I am all over the place with this post but I think you guys get the point.
Heart & pride